Katie Ault will be selling Christmas cards for the Riding for the Disabled Association this year

For expatriate associations in Singapore, helping others is a year-round activity, offering their members opportunities to integrate into the society of their adopted country and strike up friendships.

“For most expats, volunteering for local charities is about doing something for Singapore, and working together with like-minded people to do something useful with their time, ” says Anita Jansen Turkenburg, 53, Treasurer of the Netherlands Charity Association (NCA), who has lived in Singapore since 2009.

The NCA holds charity drives throughout the year, from garage sales to fairs in support of local charities such as Boys’ Town and the Society for the Physically Disabled. Likewise, the Canadian Association of Singapore (CAS), which hosted a charity ball for Make-A-Wish Singapore (a non-profit organisation that seeks to fulfill the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions) last April, also carries out other activities throughout the year. These include a food drive at the annual Canadian Thanksgiving Dinner (this year’s was on 9 October) and the Terry Fox Run, which it organises each January to raise funds for cancer research in Singapore.

Collectively, Singapore’s expatriate community has made invaluable contributions to local organisations that cater to the less fortunate. James Lim, Volunteer Resources Manager for the Salvation Army, says that expat wives lend a big hand, especially during office hours on weekdays when there is a shortage of local volunteers.

However, the year-end holiday period — usually from the third week of December through to the first week of January — tends to interrupt the schedule of charity work among expatriates. Many of them return to their home countries or go on holiday during this time. With this in mind, some associations have found ways to work around this annual ‘break’. “We have learnt to schedule our charity events for early December and after the first week of January to ensure maximum attendance, participation and fundraising,” says CAS President Janey Schueller, 38. The same holds true for the NCA, which holds its annual Christmas Charity Fair as early as midNovember. Proceeds from this event go to local charities and students from underprivileged homes.

Staying To Spread The Cheer
Although many of their friends and colleagues tend to head home, some expatriates remain in Singapore at the end of the year, and spend their time volunteering through the festive season.

To those like 39-year-old Katie Ault, who volunteers three times a week as an Assistant Instructor for the Riding for the Disabled Association (RDA), it’s a labour of love. RDA offers free therapeutic horse riding for adults and children, and she’s hoping to carry out riding activities through the Christmas season this year if the organisation has enough volunteers on hand for programmes to continue as usual.

“If you have led an amazing life and have been given every privilege, it’s important to reach out to the less fortunate during Christmas,” says Katie, who originally hails from East Sussex, England.

For Singapore Permanent Resident Margaret Wong, 45, who is a Catholic, volunteering in December serves more as a reminder of how blessed she is.

“Anytime the opportunity presents itself for you to reach out to the less fortunate, grab it — Christmas or not,” says the Hong Kong-born American citizen who has been donating goodie bags and hongbaos (red money packets) to the elderly at the yearly Christmas lunch held by the Salvation Army’s Family Support Services for seven years now.

Gail Stubber, an elementary teacher at SJI International, agrees. She is the Community Services Coordinator at the Australian and New Zealand Association and regularly ‘kettles’ (a street campaign where volunteers ring a bell to inspire passersby to drop money into trademark red kettles) for the Salvation Army in December.

“I don’t see volunteering during the festive season as something that’s difficult to juggle [with my other commitments],” says the 54-year-old Australian, who has been living “on and off” in Singapore for 15 years with her engineer husband. “You just make it fit.”

The Spirit of The Season
As these women have found, volunteering during the year-end period can be a different experience as compared to other times of the year, and has even provided insights about the locals. For instance, Katie — who sold Christmas cards for the RDA along Orchard Road last year — realised that in Singapore, charity is not about getting a token in return for your donations: it’s just about giving. “There was a lovely lady who put money into the donation box and walked away. There were a handful of people like that. It is strange to me, coming from England, where we buy and send a lot of Christmas cards,” she says.

Gail experienced similar generosity while on a kettling drive last year. “It seemed people were much more generous than the year before. 2010 had been a tougher year economically, and maybe people realised that there would be more of those in need,” she recalls. “A number of people fished out fifty-dollar notes from their wallets.”

Margaret, who has lived in Singapore for 17 years and who kettles regularly as well, feels that helping others, especially the elderly, during the holiday season is about more than just giving money. “What [the less fortunate] really need is attention and affection,” says Margaret, who has roped in her 15-year-old son Alfred to join in her charity efforts.

For people like Margaret, Katie and Gail, end-year volunteering is a win-win activity. Besides the knowledge that others have benefited from their acts of kindness, the sense of fulfillment they gain from their good work adds to their own festive cheer as well. As Gail puts it: “By volunteering, you get so much back — it’s magic.”

Hari Raya decorations at Kampong Glam

The festival of Eid, more commonly known in Singapore as Hari Raya Aidilfitri or Hari Raya Puasa, falls on the first day of Syawal, the 10th month of the Islamic calendar. It is celebrated on 30 August this year.

Meaning “grand day of rejoicing” in Malay, Hari Raya Puasa is the celebration that follows a month of fasting known as Ramadan, during which Muslims abstain from eating and drinking from dawn to dusk. The fast is broken each evening after sunset.

On the morning of Hari Raya Puasa, Muslims visit the mosque, and this is followed by house visits and celebratory meals. During Ramadan, every Muslim is obliged to give to the poor the zakat fitrah (religious tithe).

Token cash amounts – not unlike the red packets distributed at Chinese New Year – are sometimes given to children by adults during Hari Raya.

Ong May Ling, a Chinese Singapore Permanent Resident, celebrates Hari Raya with her Singaporean Malay husband Faizal (left), and son Rashad

The Muslim celebration of Eid, or Hari Raya Aidilfitri, is one of the year’s highlights for Ong May Ling. The Chinese preschool teacher married her Malay husband Faizal Bakar 16 years ago, and celebrating the festival has deepened her respect for tradition.

“The emphasis on the family unit is very strong,” says the 44-year-old Singapore Permanent Resident. “Lots of people I know plan trips overseas to take advantage of the public holiday, but many Muslim families look forward to being around at Hari Raya to meet relatives and catch up with one another.”

ACCEPTING A NEW CULTURE

May Ling’s mother-in-law Fatimah Jalaluddin lives with her and Faizal, and as Madam Fatimah, 76, is the oldest among her siblings, it means the extended family congregates at their flat in Pasir Ris for Hari Raya.

It was a bit of a culture shock for May Ling when she celebrated the festival for the first time.

“It was like being thrown into the deep end of the pool then,” says May Ling. “There’s a lot of preparation involved, like getting the food ready and shopping for new clothes, as well as the fasting before the festival itself, and the prayers.”

Faizal, who is Singaporean, patiently explained the various traditions associated with the festival throughout May Ling’s initial experience. “I couldn’t expect her to adopt all the customs straight away,” says the senior circulation executive for news daily Today. “But even though she didn’t grow up in an Islamic household, she picked things up fast.”

May Ling embraced the customs that come with the occasion for the lessons they teach.

“For example, when children visit, they will greet the adults in the household, starting with the oldest, and ask for forgiveness for their past wrongdoings,” she says. “The same goes for the adults and their older relatives. It’s a humbling experience for everyone, and teaches the importance of respecting elders.”

PART OF THE FAMILY

Born and raised in the town of Muar in Johor, Malaysia, May Ling was no stranger to Hari Raya festivities, having visited friends’ homes during the festival every year. But it was certainly different being part of a Muslim family.

“During Hari Raya, presentation is important. All food is served using the best plates and cutlery; you’ll never see plastic forks and spoons or paper plates in use. I take a lot more time and care when I’m serving guests now,” she says.

Staples at their home during the festive season include lontong(steamed rice cakes), beef rendang (a spicy gravy), and chicken curry. However, it is Faizal’s mother who takes charge of preparing these favourites.

“The kitchen is her domain, so I wouldn’t want to get in her way,” May Ling says with a laugh.

“My mother-in-law starts cooking at 6am, and I join in later to help with the preparation and serving of the dishes.”

May Ling and Faizal’s son Rashad, 14, says, “I always look forward to Hari Raya because I get to see my relatives and catch up and play with my cousins.”

“I think I’m quite lucky because my family also celebrates Chinese New Year. Two holidays mean twice the fun!” says the School of the Arts Theatre Studies student.

One of the most well-known cultural events in Asia, Vesak Day is a celebration among Buddhists, whose religion is based on the teachings of the historical Shakyamuni Buddha, who hailed from northeastern India. Vesak Day is celebrated in various Asian countries, including Malaysia, Myanmar and Sri Lanka, to reinforce a universal message of peace.

Vesak Day commemorates three major events—the birth, enlightenment at age 35, and death at age 80 of Buddha. This day is celebrated in different ways given the diverse Buddhist cultures around the world.

In Singapore, Buddhists make up 33.3 per cent of the population (according to the Singapore Census of Population 2010). Among the Singaporean and foreign residents who celebrate Vesak Day here are Chinese, Indian and Myanmar devotees.

THE CHINESE
Chinese Buddhists practice Mahayana (‘Greater Way’) Buddhism, and form the majority of Buddhists here. The Shuang Lin Temple in Toa Payoh is the oldest Buddhist temple in Singapore, but one of the biggest and most popular is the Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Temple at Bright Hill Road. Up to 20,000 people gather there annually to mark Vesak Day by carrying out the “three-step, onebow” ritual. Devotees take steps on both knees and bow at every third step as they pray for world peace, personal blessings and repentance. The two-hour procession begins 24 hours before Vesak Day.

Acts of generosity known as dana are also observed, and some Buddhists free caged birds and animals and give alms to the poor and needy. Buddhist youth are also known to organise blood donation drives.

THE INDIANS
Indian Buddhists know Vesak Day as Buddha Purnima or Buddha Jayanti, and mark the occasion in various ways. Besides abstaining from meat to show compassion to animals, they gather at the popular Sakya Muni Buddha Gaya Temple in Little India to offer flowers, candles and joss sticks at the feet of bhikshus (monks). They also observe full-length Buddhist sutras, which are similar to prayer services.

Kheer, sweet rice porridge, is commonly served to devotees to recall how a young maiden called Sujata offered Buddha a bowl of it as his last meal before a long fast towards enlightenment.

THE MYANMAR
(‘Ancient Teaching’) Buddhism, which focuses on seeking one’s own path to salvation. Vesak Day is better known among this community as Ka-sone-lapyae or “Fullmoon Day of Kasone”, Kasone being the second month of the Myanmar calender. Traditions practised include the watering and taking special care of Bodhi trees, in reverence of Buddha attaining enlightenment while meditating under such a tree. Like the Indians, Myanmar devotees also mark the occasion by eating kheer.

Vesak Day

On Vesak Day, Devotees flock to these temples to participate in prayer sessions, present offerings and seek forgiveness.

Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Temple
88 Bright Hill Road
The temple, also known as Bright Hill Temple, was founded in 1921. Today, it draws thousands of Buddhists each year to its various attractions including a crematorium, the Hall of Ten Thousand Pagodas and a sapling from the Bodhi tree in India under which Buddha attained enlightenment. On the top floor of its four-storey. Venerable Hong Choon Memorial Hall is one of Asia’s largest bronze Buddha images, measuring 13.8 metres in height and weighing 55 tonnes.

Sakya Muni Buddha Gaya Temple
366 Race Course Road

Often called the Temple of 1,000 Lights, this popular temple—located at a busy intersection in Little India—boasts a 15 metre-high statue of a seated Buddha that weighs nearly 300 tonnes. There are also wall murals depicting the various life stages of Shakyamuni Buddha and a sacred, stylised footprint of Buddha in ebony and mother-of-pearl, among other images and effi gies. Behind the main hall is a statue of the Dying Buddha reclining under a Yellow Seraka tree.

Burmese Buddhist Temple (Maha Sasana Ramsi)
14 Tai Gin Road

The replacement of a smaller predecessor located at 17 Kinta Road, this majestic temple is home to a 3.3 metre-tall marble sculpture of Buddha. It is the first and only Myanmar Buddhist temple built outside Myanmar in the traditional style, and its magnificent pure white marble Buddha is the biggest enshrined outside Myanmar. The temple is also a venue for traditional Myanmar celebrations likeThingyan, the Myanmar New Year.

The Singapore Buddhist Federation is organising a Vesak Day Celebration at Ngee Ann City Civic Plaza on April 30 and May 1. Full details are available at www.vesakcelebrations.sg

“I loved Chinese New Year. I could play with my cousins from day to night, and get loads of presents and hong baos from the adults,” the undergraduate at the National University of Singapore says. “That is, aside from having a dining table piled high with great food!”

Embodying the hopes for a better year ahead, lunar new year celebrations are held in high regard by Southeast Asians, among them Singaporeans, Taiwanese, Koreans, Vietnamese and Thais. Although celebrations may vary, the occasion is marked by tradition and customs, with family gatherings and symbolically auspicious foods playing a big part.

Li Ling, 22, has been away from home for 10 years. She now celebrates Chinese New Year the Singapore way.

“The yu sheng (seven-coloured sliced raw fish salad) is one new year food that I enjoy very much every Chinese New Year. I will not be able to find this dish at reunion dinners back home,” says the Singapore Permanent Resident, whose family remains in Taiwan.

“Celebrations in Singapore are very similar to Taiwan’s although the Chinese New Year spirit in Taiwan is definitely stronger. There are many more dishes and decorations, and greater excitement in the air.”

A TIME TO PAY RESPECT
Known as Seollal (pronounced “Sol-nal” the Korean Lunar New Year is a time for Koreans to pay respect to their elders.

While Thai people present their elders with garlands made from jasmine flowers and traditional Singaporeans kneel while offering greetings with a pair of mandarin oranges, Koreans perform the sebae, a formal deep bow.

“In Singapore, my family and I get dressed in the hanbok(traditional Korean dress).”

Kim Jae Hee, whose family also enjoys playing the yutnori, a traditional board game on the morning of the new year

Businessman Kim Jae Hee, 37, who has been working in Singapore for more than 10 years, usually returns to South Korea for the new year. But when he is in Singapore, he celebrates the festival the Korean way.

“In Singapore, my family and I get dressed in the hanbok (traditional Korean dress) and perform the Sebae on the morning of the new year,” says Jae Hee, a father of two daughters aged four and six. “It is one of the few traditions we observe here.”

Jae Hee’s favourite part of the holiday – be it in Korea or Singapore – comes after the customary duties are performed. His family enjoys traditional games such as the yutnori (a family boardgame), jegi (a shuttlecock-like object) and more recently, kite-flying in the park. “For this, we usually invite other Korean families we know [in Singapore] to join in and liven up the atmosphere,” he adds.

FESTIVE MOOD
Jishin balpgi is a Korean ritual whereby loud drums and gongs are played to frighten off the evil spirits. The Chinese rendition of this ritual comes in the form of firecrackers and lion dances.

For Bangkok native Pak Sirasudhi however, the massive water fights along Thailand’s streets during new year celebrations make up the festive atmosphere.

“It is delightful seeing both Thais and foreigners having a good time together,” says Pak, 41, a product manager.

Unlike most other Southeast Asian countries, the Thais fix their New Year, or the Songkran festival, on April 13, during the country’s hottest month.

Traditionally, the “throwing of water” is done as a form of respect. “Blessed” fragrant water recaptured from cleansing Buddha images are gently poured onto the shoulder of an elder in the family to wish them good fortune.

A Permanent Resident in Singapore, Pak holds Songkran parties for friends.

FESTIVE FOOD
Food items are often selected based on how symbolically auspicious they are. For example, nian gao, or sticky rice cake – a bribe for the Kitchen God – is eaten by the Chinese as its name is also a homonym for “higher year”.

In South Korea, tteokguk (rice cake soup in beef broth) is enjoyed at breakfast on New Year’s day. It is believed that having a bowl of tteokguk adds a year to one’s life. When Jae Hee is in Singapore, his family would usually be invited to a fellow Korean family’s home for dinner as well as for the customary tteokguk.

Equal importance is placed on food in Vietnam. The lunar new year, Tét Nguyên Ðán, literally means “the feast of the first morning”. It is celebrated at about the same time as the Korean and Chinese new year.

“The four typical foods on the altar would be custard apple, coconut, papaya and mango as their names altogether means ‘wishing for a well-to-do life’,” says Nguyen Binh Phuong Vu, 23, who works in the advertising industry here.

Vietnamese festive foods include the bánh chấng (glutinous steamed cake with mung bean, pork and other ingredients) and bánh dấy(flat glutinous rice cake with mung beans or sausage).

Pak whips up festive Thai dishes learnt from her parents and grandparents for her Singaporean friends during the Songkran festival. These include kao chae (jasmine-scented rice usually served with fried shrimp paste), gaeng kiew wahn gai (chicken in green curry), and krayasad (a crunchy sweet mix of noodles, puffed rice, peanuts, and oats).

Says Pak, who has been in Singapore for almost eight years: “Since we are away from our blood family, friends here in Singapore tend to take their place. It is nice to maintain the tradition together with them.”

IN SINGAPORE

Chinese New Year is an important holiday here for the ethnic majority Chinese. A month before, the hustle and bustle would start in a spectacularly lit-up Chinatown. This would be marked by long queues for bak kwa (sweet barbecued meat) and brisk demand for goodies such as pineapple tarts and love letters (crisp pancake rolls).

On the New Year’s eve, family members gather for the reunion dinner. On the morning of the new year, they would usually gather at the home of the most senior member before proceeding to homes of other relatives and friends. Unmarried family members and children receive hong bao, or red packets
with token sums of cash, from the married ones.

EVERYONE’S BIRTHDAY
The first two days are public holidays, but the festival lasts for 15 days. The seventh day is known as ren ri (the day it is believed that all human beings were created, and hence is everyone’s birthday). On this day, Singaporeans and Malaysians celebrate by eating yu sheng (seven-coloured sliced raw fish salad) instead of the seven vegetables soup served in China.

Chingay, Singapore’s street parade to celebrate Chinese New Year, is now an internationally acclaimed event. The 2011 parade to be held on Feb 11 and 12 will feature more than 8,000 participants from Singapore and worldwide.

Mexico's ambassador to Singapore, Mr Antonio Villegas, and his wife, Claudia (with their younger daughter Rosita) look forward to sharing their traditions at Christmas.

“A family affair”

Christmas is a very important event on the calendar for the Ambassador of the United Mexican States to Singapore, Mr Antonio Guillermo Villegas Villalobos.

“Like most of Latin America, Mexico´s population is Catholic in its majority. Thus, Christmas is a time to be spent with the family, to celebrate life and the many gifts we have received,” he explains.

“Celebrations start one week before Christmas, to commemorate the week the Virgin Mary and her husband, José (Joseph), took to travel seeking refuge for them and the still unborn Jesus Christ, from the persecution of the Romans.”

Ambassador Villegas, who hails from Mexico City, relocated here with his wife Claudia, and daughters Rosita, 5, and Valentina, 12, in November 2009 following his previous post as Mexico’s Ambassador to Peru. So he will be no stranger to a tropical Christmas.

Sharing Traditions

Nonetheless he is looking forward to “learning other traditions and sharing our own here.” Mexican traditions include throwing a posada or “seeking refuge party”. Posadas can happen every day, and often, more than one is held; there can be posadas for children, work mates, neighbours or even members of the community. During a posada, a group, carrying images of, or dressed like the Virgin Mary and Joseph, walk in the streets holding lit candles and singing traditional Christmas carols.

They then arrive at a house, and sing to the other group of people waiting for them inside, asking if they can kindly offer posada or refuge. Traditionally, they keep singing until the group inside lets them in. This signals the start of a big party, featuring typical Mexican Christmas food, dancing, and piñatas (papier-mâché sculptures) full of candies and fruits to be broken for everybody to enjoy.

Meanwhile, Christmas Eve is more a family affair as everyone sits down to a very special dinner comprising different uniquely Mexican dishes. They include the likes of Romeritos with Mole (Mexican vegetables with spicy mole [moh-lay] sauce) as well as turkey (called guajolote in the Aztec language), or cod fish (bacalao).

Rememberance and Thanks

There is then an exchange of presents among family members. Children receive the bulk of the presents, and are told that they were brought by ‘Baby Jesus’ while they were asleep. Overall, it is a night celebrating family, and one of remembrance and giving thanks.

Ambassador Villegas, 63, strives to recreate these traditions here, but concedes that it can be difficult. “We try to have at least one close relative join us. We organise at least one posada party, including the piñata, with other fellow Mexicans or Latin American friends, and invite our host country friends to introduce them to our tradition,” he says.

“We also try, as much of possible, to prepare a dinner as authentically Mexican as possible, and keep the tradition of exchanging presents and have the children receive their additional presents from ‘Baby Jesus’.

At any rate, it continues to be very much a family affair!”

“Open house in Singapore”

“Singapore is a very cosmopolitan city, and all religions are respected.”
Latika Alok, on Diwali celebrations in Singapore

Latika Alok, on Diwali celebrations in Singapore
Latika Alok, who was born, and who grew up in London, has fond memories of celebrating Diwali (as Deepavali is called in North India) in the cosmopolitan city. Also known as the Festival of Lights, celebrations for this festival involve the worship of Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and Ganesh, the god of auspicious beginnings.

She recalls: “We are North Indian and Diwali marks one of the most important celebrations in our calendar. My memories of Diwali as a child involved spring cleaning our house and decorating every nook and corner, inside and outside. Our house, for a few weeks leading up to the festival, was always full of friends and family.

“We lit small clay lamps, signifying the triumph of good over evil, and welcoming prosperity and well being. We would also wear new clothes, and I remember my mother making our favourite foods, and lots of Indian sweets and special snacks so that we could share them with family and friends.

“She would make a lot of savoury items using different  ours like gram flour and plain flour, and most of them were fried. She also made yummy Indian sweets from milk powder. Back then you could not buy a lot of these items in the shops.”

Since Latika and her senior media executive husband moved to Singapore 18 years ago when he relocated for work, celebrations have been slightly different.

For one, she is glad that Diwali is considered a public holiday here. “As a family, we are able to devote a lot more time to decorating the home. In India and Singapore, the concept of ”open house” is very popular. “This was not possible in London because of the distances [people have to travel],” she explains.

“Here, we are able to make our visit to friends and family that day and share in all their festivities. Our children Nikhil, 13, and Anneka, 11, get together with friends and play with sparklers, which they enjoy.

“Anneka, of course, really enjoys dressing up in her new Indian clothes and helping me to do the rangoli decorations, the flower and coloured-powder decorations featuring religious and geometrical motifs.

“These serve as an invitation to goddess Lakshmi to enter and bless the home.”

Latika, who runs Glitterati, a fashion boutique specialising in haute couture
evening wear, also carries out a small ceremony there to seek the blessings of the wealth goddess Lakshmi for a good year ahead. She would dress the statue in garlands, and make offerings of sweets to it. She will also place her accounts books in front of the statue for them to be blessed, and light clay lamps outside the boutique.

Adds Latika: “Singapore is a very cosmopolitan city, and all religions are respected. I love the way Little India is lit up and decorated. We really enjoy going down to the Diwali markets that are set up, to soak in the atmosphere of the festival.

“Even though my children go to an international school, they still learn about Diwali and often come back with handcrafted gifts.”

Her parents, who still live in London, do not join Latika’s family in the celebrations in Singapore.

Says the 40-something: “We call and wish them on Diwali day and get their blessings. My parents are traditional and they don’t believe in leaving their home empty during Diwali as they say that Goddess Lakshmi does not visit an empty home!”

Think of Indian weddings and images of Bollywood and Mira Nair’s film Monsoon Wedding invariably come to mind. Looking beyond the colourful costumes, feasting and boisterous celebrations, Hindu Indian weddings are infused with traditional practices and take on hundreds of permutations, depending on the traditions of family, dialect group, and personal preference. Here in Singapore, no matter from which Indian community the newly-weds hail – North or South – celebrations always comprise pre-wedding, actual day and post-wedding rituals.

As a guest, come prepared for plenty of jostling and noise – and wear something brightly coloured. Indian families are especially honoured if a non-Indian guest turns up in Indian traditional dress such as a saree or Punjabi suit. Cash gifts are often welcome – but feel free to ask the couple what they prefer.

A BLESSED ENGAGEMENT

Before the wedding celebrations, some couples may choose to have an engagement ceremony known as roka – a formal commitment of both the families to the marriage. While the number and type of rituals conducted depend on family tradition, a puja or dedication, is often conducted at home or at the temple, one to 15 days before the wedding, to seek blessings and protection for the couple. This may be followed with vratham or fasting by both families to invoke similar blessings.

IT’S ALL IN THE HANDS

The intricate dark whorls of mehendi or henna are among the most essential and auspicious elements of pre-wedding rituals for a Hindu bride. The elaborate designs are made by applying a thick paste of henna to the hands and feet the day before the wedding. Surprisingly there is no religious symbolism behind wedding henna, although the reddish brown dye is steeped in wedding lore. The longer the bride allows the paste to dry, the darker the colour will be, signifying prosperity. It is also believed that the darker a henna tattoo, the more the bride’s mother-in-law will love her. A patient bride who is able to wait long enough for a darker, richer coloured tattoo also benefits in a practical way as she is not expected to do any chores until her wedding henna has faded. Sometimes the groom’s name is included within the designs on the bride’s palm; if the groom’s name is not incorporated, he is said to be less dominant in conjugal life.

THE MOTHER-IN-LAW TEST

Indian weddings abound with small acts and rituals that ‘test’ the commitment of the couple and the ability of the groom to care for his new wife. Don’t be surprised to see the bride’s mother measuring the groom’s chest or prodding him with her hands at some point during the wedding. It’s a quirky ritual in which the mother of the bride ‘assesses’ her new son-in-law’s manliness and ability to protect and care for her daughter. When satisfied, she will mark his forehead with kajal or kohl to ward off evil spirits.

THE GARLAND CEREMONY

Expect several rituals to be conducted during the wedding; while these may vary from family to family, one of the most common is the garland ceremony. Instead of rings, the couple exchange flower garlands – sometimes amid an atmosphere of friendly teasing. The bride tries to place a garland on the groom while the groom’s friends set up obstacles to tease the couple. The bride may likewise enlist the help of her family and friends, resulting in some tussling. The ‘fight’ concludes with the groom finally placing a garland around his bride’s neck, signifying mutual acceptance and respect as lifelong partners.

FRUIT AND MILK CEREMONY

Another common rite is the milk and fruit ceremony. Traditionally conducted at the bride’s home after the wedding ceremony, the married women present will feed the newlyweds spoonfuls of milk and banana pieces, signifying the marriage beginning on a sweet note. In Singapore, this ceremony may be conducted after the garland exchange.

The ‘fight’ concludes with the groom finally placing a garland around his bride’s neck, signifying mutual acceptance and respect as lifelong partners.

ETERNAL FLAME

The main and usually final event that concludes the wedding is the fire ceremony, typically performed by priests in front of a sacred fire amid prayers and guests. If you’re invited to an Indian wedding held at a restaurant or function hall, you may see a little ‘campfire’ in the main function hall. Don’t be alarmed, and feel free to gather around the couple for the ceremony. While the priest conducts the chants of the rite, the couple will tie a yellow string or thali around the bride’s neck with three knots. Friends and family are then invited to throw flowers on the couple. To seal the union, the couple walks around the fire, throwing rice into the fire to keep it burning, symbolising the eternal flame of love.

EAT UP!

After the ceremony, guests are invited to take part in a huge feast. If the wedding is conducted in a temple, the meal will likely be vegetarian, served on banana leaves and traditionally eaten with one’s hands. Don’t worry if you’re not confident of using your hands – cutlery is usually available. Also note that it’s common to sit on the floor while eating; if you’re not sure, just ask. Weddings held at community halls or restaurants may serve meat dishes. In any case, look out for desserts such as payasam or kheer, a sweet rice or vermicelli porridge flavoured with cardomon, raisins and almonds.

Royals for a day

ROYALTY FOR A DAY

A bride upon the pelamin

A Malay wedding is a vibrant, colourful event. The day of the celebration is called bersanding (pronounced ber-sun-deng), which refers to the couple being seated on the bridal couch on a dais. This couch is called the pelamin (pronounced as per-la-men) and symbolises a throne, on which the couple sits. From this vantage point, the couple may view the celebrations and also be admired by guests.

It is customary for the couple to be decked in the traditional dress of royalty – the bride in richly coloured and embroidered dresses and her groom in a matching suit with a dagger (called a kris) at his side.

WHAT TO EXPECT

A void deck ‘decked’ out in wedding drapery, showing the pelamin and a Western-style tiered wedding cake

A Malay wedding normally involves friends and relatives who help serve and host guests

Malay weddings can accommodate guests in the hundreds, or even up to a thousand!

A Malay wedding can be quite informal, beginning in the afternoon and carrying on right into the night; you can turn up and leave at any time. A massive wedding banquet is usually held at the open space below the couple’s parents’ apartment (area known as the ‘void deck’), or at a community function hall near their homes. Cooking is usually done on-site and served buffet-style. Traditionally, dishes will take the form of spicy curries and rice.

Unless you’re a very close friend with duties for the day, it’s uncommon to stay throughout the festivities. And because it’s a buffet, do give up your seat once you’re done with your meal.

Bunga telur are traditional wedding favours

You may not need a suit but leave the sandals at home, unless you’re a Malay pak cik (‘elderly man’). Consider wearing a baju (Malay traditional dress), as it’s quite a common sight for non-Malays to come in traditional Malay clothing, as a sign of cultural appreciation.

At some point, guests will be invited to ascend the dais for a snapshot with the couple. This is where you can convey your wishes, enjoy the photo opportunity, and work the carpet. Cultural performances and karaoke are common entertainment at such events.

Small cash tokens are expected, sealed in a packet and handed to the couple’s parents. Check with friends on the going rate, dependent on venue and your closeness to the couple. Remember to use your right hand when shaking hands with your Malay hosts.

Wedding favours include the traditional bunga telur (pronounced as boo-ngah ter-loor), a flower and an egg, which symbolises prosperity and luck for the guests and fertility for the newlyweds. These days, more couples are opting for practical favours, such as mugs, foldable fans (for the heat) and sweets.

This is just a primer for things to come. If you want to find out more about what goes on at the wedding, don’t be shy about asking your fellow guests!

Don’t be surprised if you see henna painting on the bride and groom’s hands, similar to that in Indian weddings. It’s a throwback to the Hindu Majapahit custom that was practised in the region centuries ago.

An odd pairing – laser dics, music CDs and old shoes

The best time to visit is on a Saturday afternoon. Shoppers, gawkers and traders stroll serenely through a grid of haphazardly arranged street stalls with their gaze pinned to the ground seeking out the tarpaulin gallery. Old shoes, faulty gizmos, knock-off sunnies, scratched CDs, vinyls and laser discs, nets, drills and other bizarre bits and pieces. But it’s not all junk. A plastic case displays a tangle of Buddhist amulets while dog-eared books bake quietly in the heat of the day. Youngsters sporting the best in flea-market chic can also be found sifting through racks of used clothes.

Since the 1930s, the flea market at Sungei Road has had the infamy of being know as ‘Thieves Market” for selling a varied assortment of second-hand goods – not all gainfully acquired. Today, the little street makes a great lazy-day outing.

Prices are not stated, so drive a bargain if you need to, although for some vendors, it hardly seems like it’s the commerce that takes them to Sungei Road, but pride in their eclectic collections, be they grimy TV remote controls, electronic cables or calculators.

Mustafa Centre

A compulsive shopper? An insomniac? Then Mustafa Centre is the place for you. The four-storey emporium sells everyday items as well as household appliances like pots, pans, kettles, and even cars and plane tickets.

When: 7 days a week, 24-hours. Nearest MRT station: Ferrer Road

Space is a premium at Mustafa. Every aisle, every floor is packed to the gills with goodies. The place probably houses one of the largest collections of watches in Singapore.

You can get almost any brand, from $5 Casios to $5,000 Rados. If watches are not what you are looking for, then check out the rows of music CDS and shelves of DVDs, wide range of toiletries, extensive displays of shiny faux gold bangles, or pick through reams of patterned fabric. And if you are still raring to go, check the rest of the floors out. There’s surely something there that you will want. And don’t worry about the time – Mustafa Centre stays open 24/7. You, along with backpackers and the rest of the sleepless in Singapore can stroll through the emporium leisurely and then end your late night shopping foray with a cuppa along any eatery down the stretch of Little India.

Pasar Malam (Night Market)

The Ramly Burger is a pasar malam favourite that requires mastery of the grill

Singapore’s pasar malam (night markets) bear very little resemblance to other night markets in Asia. Here, out-of-towners will probably find the absence of handmade jewellery and affordable artisan crafts rather glaring. Instead, the pasar malam is more of a heartland street fair that sells cheap clothing and toys, kitchen items and plants. What it lacks in whimsy and charm, the pasar malam makes up with a multiracial fare of comfort eats.

Spice it up with Indian vadai, a deep-fried savoury pastry with a whole shrimp buried in the dough, best enjoyed with a crunchy whole green chilli. For about a dollar, you get a fragrant hardboiled tea egg or a bag of steamed chickpeas and for about $2, fried snacks on a stick. But the pasar malam experience is not complete until you have tasted a Ramly burger – a delicious mixture of oozy fried egg, meat patty, cheese and sweet sauce sandwiched in a sesame seed bun.

Think of it as the Asian version of the sloppy joe. Speak to the burger vendor, get his number and you will never have to guess where to go for a Ramly burger when the stalls pack up and move on to their next location.

Zhuo yue. Translated word for word, the Chinese term literally means ‘sit-month’ – the period of post-natal convalescence that – archaic though it may sound – many modern Singaporean mothers, take quite seriously, though not literally. In fact, there is some science behind traditional confinement practices, although some cultural taboos may best be taken a little less seriously. But granny’s advice still sticks with many – for example, Indian women still try to shower between certain hours of the day, Chinese women go on a specially concocted diet and Malay women are strictly confined to the home.

THE LONG-WINDED STORY

While the practices sound dated, the raisond’être echoes the aim of conventional western medicine – to aid wound healing, repair the womb and prevent ailments during this period of low immunity. “Pregnancy puts the female body under stress. It also stretches the abdominal skin and muscles, and the pelvic floor muscles and tissues. The collagen tissues take four to six weeks to recover their elastic tone,” explained Dr Goh Shen Li, consultant of the department of Obstetrics & Gynaecology at KK Women’s & Children’s Hospital. In fact, right after giving birth, a woman’s uterus weighs 900g, up from its usual 100g, causing much dreaded post-natal bloat.

Traditionalists believe that women who don’t faithfully follow handeddown customs put themselves at risk of backaches, arthritis, rheumatism and incontinence.

Central to all these dire warnings is the concept of ‘wind’ – an idea extending across the Chinese, Malay and India cultures. The term refers to the idea of maintaining the body’s equilibrium during the delicate post-natal time. It is believed that a woman’s pores ‘open’ after labour so ‘wind’ can easily enter the body. For this reason, new Malay mothers are urged to only shower before 6pm and Indian mothers between 11am and 2pm when the sun is particularly sweltering. Strict Chinese adherents go as far as to avoid showering altogether or resorting to a special herbal shampoo made by confinement nannies.

Apart from ‘wind’, another thing that traditionalists in Singapore agree upon is the importance of staying indoors – the whole point of confinement. “This is not just because immunity is lower during this period,” explained Shahnaz Alkaff, a 31-year-old mother of two. “Women bleed for two weeks up to a month after delivery, and after bleeding, Muslim women believe we need to be cleansed so we shouldn’t step out till our bodies are cleansed.”

SPECIAL KNEADS

Caring for many Singaporean mums during the confinement period are confinement nannies who provide round-the-clock care for mother and baby. Some caregivers are so sought after that they are spoken about in the same hushed awe reserved for celebrity stylists. “Confinement ladies are booked eight months in advance because the good ones are hot property,” shared Tammy Tan, 33, a mother and homemaker. In the absence of a confinement nanny, a doting mother, mother-in-law or member of the extended family is usually at hand to offer their repository of knowledge and tender loving care.

In the Malay culture, this special treatment often takes the shape of daily massages believed to expel ‘wind’ and remove blood clots. Even Dr Goh approves. “Massaging the womb via the abdomen encourages contraction of the womb.” In Indian culture, the tactile treat is extended to babies. With mum, granny or auntie sitting on the floor, baby is cradled against her legs from knee to her ankle and bathed with warm water and ginger oil infused with special herbs. “The baby is given a massage to stretch the limbs and give dexterity. This is done every day for a month, and then continued by the parents until the baby grows to a size where it gets uncomfortable,” shared Lathikadevi Nair, vice president of a media company.

Central to all these dire warnings is the concept of ‘wind’.

ON THE MENU

As for food, there are strict rules to follow: Malay women avoid spicy food, eggs, shellfish and coconut milk, while Indian and Chinese mums are traditionally told to avoid drinking plain water. Thankfully, a variety of rich and nutritious substitutes come in. Lean white meat cooked in ginger, sesame oil and Chinese wine are staples on Chinese confinement menu, Malay women are treated to nourishing soups and Indian mothers indulge in rich sweets, drinks and stews. Red date tea is taken as an alternative to water for Chinese women and Malay mums drink jamu– a drink made with lemongrass and turmeric to ‘warm’ the body. Indian women traditionally replace water with garlic-infused milk. This enthusiasm to help new mums recuperate sometimes take on a relentless zeal, “I felt my confinement lady was force-feeding me,” laughed Tammy, “My meals were separate from the family and I had to finish expensive threadfin, meat stewed with ginger and tonic soup, so I got indigestion!”

THE TABOOS

CHINESE

Confinement period: 30 days

• Avoid crying or eyesight will deteriorate
• Avoid any exercise or exertion
• Avoid contact with water, the wind and cold

MALAY

Confinement period: 44 days

• Don’t injure one’s toes (they are believed to be connected to the uterus)
• Avoid squatting or the uterus will ‘drop’
• No reading or watching of television, to protect the eyes

INDIAN

Confinement period: 40 days

• No leaving the bedroom for two weeks after delivery
• No entering the prayer room
• No bathing unless with special herbs and only between 11am and 2pm

Eng Lan Lam, proprietor of Nanyang Old Coffee

When it comes to Singapore coffee – or kopi (pronounced as koh-pee) as the locals call it – it all boils down to the way the beans are prepared. Roasted with sugar and margarine, local coffee is dark, strong and retains the smooth caramel and butter character of its roasting companions. As with many other local delicacies, Malaysia’s robust blend is a close cousin. The latter however, is brewed from Liberica beans while Singapore’s is from a blend of Robusta and Arabica.

Kopi is also different from some international gourmet coffee, says Eng Lam Lim, proprietor of Nanyang Old Coffee because of the quantity of coffee in each serving. “The punch is there because we use a lot of Robusta. Cappuccino for example, is twenty percent of coffee and eighty percent of milk. For us, it’s eighty percent of coffee.”

The extra punch makes all the difference. Older Singaporeans will recall pouring their kopi from a thick-rimmed cup – designed to keep the coffee warm – into a saucer, so it can cool quickly enough for them to get their caffeine fix before they head to work. Besides the quaint-looking cup and saucer (often with floral designs), one other unique coffee paraphernalia is the coffee pot with a long spout.

“In other countries it used for flowering plants,” Eng says, laughing. “This makes the coffee easier to pour and it gives the tarik (pronounced tar-rake) or ‘pull’ effect which cools and mixes the drink. When you tarik, the sugar and the air mixes and the kopi actually tastes better.”

A good old cup of Kopi-O

The use of the ‘flower pot’ is traditional. And according to Lim, coffee machines are not used because they don’t allow for “a personal touch”. If you think the big coffee chains have a monopoly on variety, just see what local coffeeshops can do with just coffee, milk and sugar – and without even the whipped option (see below). If you go to a local coffee shop often enough, the tou chiu (pronounced tao-chew), the equivalent of a barista, will know just how like your kopi – and perhaps even the quintessential kopi companions of kaya toast (coconut jam served between toast, pronounced kah-yah) and soft-boiled eggs.

THE HISTORY OF LOCAL TRADITIONAL COFFEE

Early coffee shops in Singapore were run by Hainanese immigrants who learnt how to make coffee from the British. Coffee was then served with butter, either added to the coffee or eaten separately to soothe the throat and alleviate the ‘heatiness’ of the drink, linking back to the Chinese idea of yin and yang or ‘hot’ and ‘cool’ foods. The Hainanese roasted coffee beans with sugar – a process influenced by the Spanish. Coffee was then a luxury product but over time, coffee drinking became widespread and coffeeshop culture localised to its present form.

How to Order Local Traditional Coffee

The addendums also apply to Teh (tea) e.g. Teh-O